Sunday, August 15, 2010

Monthly Update

Well, this past month has been long and hard in some ways and wonderful in others. I haven't had a spare moment to catch my breath, much less write an entire blog post. So I'll just catch you up on the highlights.

Basically, the week before I went to Texas was one of the hardest weeks of my life. I spent most of it in tears and the other part of it frantically trying to get ready for my trip. Satan was not happy about my decision to Serve God. He fought me hard. He lost.

When I got to Texas, it was absolutely and terrifyingly fantastic and I did things I didn't think I could do. In fact, I knew I couldn't do it. But an amazing thing happened when I got there. I found out it's possible to push past fear. I discovered an ability within me that allowed me to acknowledge fear, to be utterly afraid, and then push past it and do what needed to be done.

I can only accredit this to God. I know He was the one who supported me through aching feet caused by eighteen hour days, severe stage fright, and and various other things I have not the strength to overcome. I looked up to God and said, "Father, I can't do this, but you can. use me for your good." He did as I asked and I will never regret doing what he asked. Because I obeyed, hundreds of children were ministered to.

I came home exhausted but very happy. I can't wait until next year so I can see all of my teammates again.

The next week was spent in preparation for my brother's departure to college. Who knew you could pack so many T-shirts in a mini fridge when you run out of space elsewhere? We headed to Georgia with a fully laden vehicle and almost no leg room.

Just because the clouds have a sense of humor, it started raining about an hour before I had to say goodbye to my brother. So, we stood in the rain as he gave me a hug that squashed my nose into his shoulder. I gave him a muffled "I love you too, but I can't breathe." that he understood even though it probably sounded like gibberish. I bet the fact that he understood has to do with how we used to (okay, we still do) talk to each while we brushed our teeth. Speaking with a mouth full of toothpaste will teach you how to understand anything your only sibling says.

I'm going to start school in about two weeks, but before that I have something else to accomplish. Drivers-ed. Yay. Enough said.

I'm actually quite looking forward to this school year. I know it will be different without my brother around, but I know also it will be full of good times and laughter and a lot of learning.

I feel as if I've been transported back to my past. While harder since I'm very much in high school, the coming months will be filled with a lot of time spent with some old friends. people I've missed but haven't had the time to reconnect with. I grew up with these people. I played with some of them when we were just little homeschool kids.

For me, it feels like once again we're young and hurrying to finish school so we can play. But we're all taller. I open my eyes and we've all grown up. we've all changed our hairstyles and most of us have opinions on politics rather than the latest Star Wars or Lord of The Rings movie. We've begun to realize our skill sets and we really don't have a lot in common other then the bond of time spent together as children. But for me, that bond is not a particularly easy one to break.

I'm pressing on into God's plan for me, and he's reuniting me with people from my past. it makes me very happy to once again have these people as a part of my everyday life.

I'm ready to get serious about serving God in my ordinary life and see Him use me in extraordinary ways. Some people have told me, "you're only fifteen, just enjoy life and have fun." but I see it differently. suddenly I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm fifteen already. I'm not an adult and I'm not ready to shoulder the responsibility that would entail, but I have grown.

All that to say, It's been a very long and slightly confusing month. However, I finally believe God can do anything. I keep repeating that to myself and it makes my heart glad every time.


Bonita said...

Yes, indeed, it's been a month of tremendous growth...with more to follow. I'm very proud of you and God!