Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Plan B

I woke up and I knew. "Mom, I'm going to apply for that convention this year. It's already a day past the due date, but I know God wants me to do this." A few minutes later, application forms were scattered all over the kitchen table. I filled it out, sent it in, and waited. . .

I knew before I opened it. It didn't look like my friend's acceptance letter. It didn't weigh enough. A sinking feel in my stomach was justified when my first deposit check fell out of the letter. Returned to me and I didn't want it.

Dear Bre,

Thank you so much for applying. . .Your desire to serve and be a blessing has caught God's attention!

Unfortunately, since your application was reached after our due date, all our team positions had been filled. . .I'm sorry to say we will not be able to include you on our travel team this year.

Ouch. I wanted to crumple to the floor and cry. In fact, I did. I'd been so sure. I'd just known. Yet here I was, thinking,

How is this possible? I have all the right connections. I know all the right people. My own brother was on the team last year! One of my best friends has been a part of this ministry for years! The worship leader lived in my neighborhood when I was born. He's been like a brother to me my whole life!

After the initial shock was over, I managed to put it from my mind. For the most part. Today, I just lost it. I needed to get it out of my system. Too many thoughts to mention sped through my head like race cars; too fast to fully comprehend them, but loud enough to leave me with a headache.

After bible study, Mom pointed out that obeying God and taking the the first step isn't negated because I was refused. She reminded me that I obeyed God and put it in his hands. "Sometimes God does things in such a way as to make it very clear that the door has been closed. . .for now. But he will open another door for you. Just wait and see."

She told me what I feel now is how it feels to have a book proposal rejected. She would know. She encouraged me and then reminded me to pick myself up by my bootstraps and get ready for whatever it is God does have for me.

I went and reread the letter. The last paragraph caught my attention.

God's word tells us that no good thing we do for the Lord goes unnoticed by him, so no matter what part of God's team we serve on, it's exciting to know that he's highly aware of our giving and pleased with our willing hearts.

Now, I feel. . .curious. I want to know what God wants me to do.

My advice for dealing with a serious disappointment is this: Do whatever it is you do. Cry it out, write a song about it, eat chocolate cake, go for a walk, but above all, pray that God will reveal his plan since it obviously isn't the same as your plan, it's better.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

One last thing. If you're looking for something to inspire you, read The Prayer of Jabez for Teens by Bruce Wilkinson and Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris (View their blog/website here). I highly recommend you read both of these books as a catalyst for doing great things for God. Speaking from personal experience, these books will change your life if you grab onto the message within them.


Bonita said...

I'm so proud of the way you're handling this! I don't know what you and God talked about on that walk, but I'm glad it helped.

Kristen @ Moms Sharpening Moms said...

A good word for all guys and gals to read! Have a blessed week!

Shannon said...

That is great wisdom and really speaks to something that is going on in my own life! Thanks so much! Maybe part of what God has for this is using your words to encourage others!
Blessings on you!

Lauren said...

Stopped by Richella's blog, who led me to your mom's blog, who led me to your blog. :) Very encouraging anecdote. As an aspiring writer myself, I know how much that must've hurt. I remember in high school, I would send my work off to different creative writing sites to be accepted into an online writing forum or something of the such, thinking that my writing was genius and of course they'd accept it, and then bam! rejection. I'm secure enough to say that my writing actually stunk pretty bad in high school, and I wasn't writing the things that are important to me now. So, I'm glad God gave me that wake up call. I, too, am curious as to His plans for me. Just keep praying! :)

Donna said...

Bre, your post is encouraging. Jeremiah 29:11 gives assurance.

imoomie said...

My absolute favorite scripture!

You are right on, all you were to do is obey. If God can trust you with the little things, He can trust you with the big things.

I am excited for your future!


Debra Weiss said...

I admit I rarely understand God's plans. But what matters in this situation and so many others we face in life is that you were obedient. You acted on what God told you to do.

God's plan may never have been for you to serve on that team this year. He may have just wanted to see if you were willing to be obedient regardless of the deadlines.

Always be faithful to Him. It's the one thing that you'll never regret in life. ;)