Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Of Mountains and Molehills

I think I may have writer’s block. That would explain my inability to think straight. I have too much in my head, but it’s trapped there until I can regain my ability to let it out.

What do you do when your only form of expression is out of reach?

I know what I do. I get competitive. I play sports with a vengeance. I pine for my years of softball playing glory. I go to a friend’s youth group and then kick butt at kickball.

I amp up my workout routine to the hardest level and lose my ability to walk like a normal human. I waddle around like a saddle sore cowboy. And yet, all I want to do is work harder; to be incapable of thinking and clear my head through hard work.

Because I realized something. I thought I was climbing a mountain. It was a hill. I thought God was asking me to jump off a cliff. It wasn’t a cliff, it was a rock.

I climbed that hill. I jumped from boulder to boulder. Only to find myself at the base of a mountain so high that mists shroud most of it.

Here I am. I can’t see much further than my first step, but I know I will need every ounce of strength within me. And I know it won’t be enough. I’ll have to rely fully on my Father in heaven.

Something BIG is looming in my future. I can’t tell how far away it is or how long it will take to get there, but I know this: It’s there, waiting for me.

Oh boy, I feel like I’m gearing up for a long journey. I’m ready. . .well, God is ready.

Philippians 4:13 NKJV

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Psalm 18:28-29 MSG
Suddenly, God, you floodlight my life;
I’m blazing with glory, God’s glory!
I smash the bands of marauders,
I vault the highest fences.

Okay, maybe I don’t have writers block. maybe I’ve been avoiding actually sitting down and writing what’s inside of me. Maybe I was scared of what I’d find. Maybe I'm extremely glad I took this time to say what I needed to say.