Thursday, November 5, 2009

How do you title a prayer?

Father God, I am tired. All I want to do is get on Facebook and be lazy. I want to reach for that cookie and enjoy its gooeyness. I want to sit and stare at the TV and ignore the homework that calls out to me.

This experiment is hard. It started out easy, but then I had a few very long days and now I just want to keel over in a recliner. I don't want to say no to lethargy. I don't know how to be peppy and energetic. I can't find any worldly thing to be excited about.

On the bright side, I think about you constantly. The moment I awake, I thank you for the day. I spend hours in grateful reflection (Psalm 63:5 MSG), I spend with you those dear moments when the day is coming alive, I feel the warmth of your presence. All day I look to you for the strength to keep going. I cannot stand alone in this world, so I lean on you completely and you carry me through.

Were it not for you I would be lost. God, come find me. I know you never leave, but a sheep may stray away from the shepherd. I don't want to take advantage of your grace; to do what I will because you will always forgive me. I want you to breathe life into your promises.


Bonita said...

In times of weakness, He is our strength. His grace is sufficient.

I know you don't "feel" like doing much, but what you "are" doing is being a great example to me. I admire your determination and it inspires me to be more disciplined in my own life.

Cassandra Frear said...


It's remarkable that someone your age would have the maturity to try something like this. It speaks volumes about the woman you are becoming.

It isn't easy to make changes, to challenge ourselves, or to explain to others why we feel compelled to do something. But we know in our hearts, don't we, that God is calling out to us, calling us to a higher path.

Here's an idea that has been very helpful to me: listen to the still small voice of the Spirit about how to replace the things that have been set aside. What will take their place? Are there new, creative ways to connect with God? Special projects? Something that has been in the heart but not been attempted? Our God is infinitely creative and He is glad to meet us in every aspect of our lives.

I am committing to some new disciplines myself. It's hard. But I know that the rewards are amazing. More than anything else, I will be a different person because I made the changes that God prompted. Being a different person means I will live a different life -- a vastly different life. Isn't that exciting to think about?