Thankful

I feel uninspired today. I can't seem to get my brain to focus on what I should be doing. So I finally gave up. It hit me (as I was lying on my bed staring aimlessly at the wall because of my inability to concentrate) that maybe God has something different he wants me to do today.

I'm going to post something I've been meaning to do for a while. About two or three months ago, I started a thankful journal. I've been writing down little tidbits that made me smile, or things I felt God saying, or even how God turned my failures to success. Collossians 3:15 says to cultivate thankfulness, so every day I've been trying to find at least three things that made me happy or that I am grateful for.

Here's an abbreviated list of my favorites so far:

-I'm thankful for the freedom to express myself through writing.

-I'm thankful for the realization that God's grace is ever present and willing to untangle the briers and put me back on the path.

-My brother got accepted into and offered a great scholarship to the college he wants to go to.

-I'm thankful for the wholesome, vivid feeling of seeing life through God's reality.

-I'm thankful for God's patient commitment to changing my heart.

-Mom cried after watching a Hallmark movie.

-I'm thankful for hope that lives on forever.

-I worked out hard and didn't feel like I was going to die.

-I'm thankful God shows me the value of material things is nothing compared to life in him.

-God came through for me. Again.

-I'm thankful I can always renew my commitment to do my best.

-I'm awestruck at how God strings little pieces of my life together in a pattern that puts everything in a whole new light.

-I'm thankful God is willing to let the past remain in the past.

-I'm thankful my friends put up with all my quirks.

-My brain would not shut up. My ideas formed into a story.

-I'm thankful my earthly father follows the example of my Heavenly Father.

-I'm thankful to God, who created the sun and sent his son. Both are a light to this world.

-I'm excited to see what God will do.

-I'm thankful God brings to light the true desires of my heart.

-I'm thankful for the harmony created when the body of Christ works together.

-I wrote and wrote and wrote.

-I'm thankful for the peace of God, which is greater than I can understand.

-I'm thankful to be learning discipline.

-Peace consumed me because I let go of worry.

-I'm thankful for sunshine in winter. It's like hope in a crisis.

-I laughed at my effort to sing "Frosty the snowman" with my retainer in.

-I saw clearly my need to refocus on what is important.

-I wanted only to abandon my heart to Christ.

What Can I Say? God is Good

An excerpt from my bible study/random thought notebook:

God, there is peace to be had in knowing I can't do it alone. It's a relief to realize you want to take care of me. I am the sheep, you the Shepard. Sheep, sheep are dumb. They go blindly into trouble.

I"m exhausted God. I tried using my own strength again. I'm not broken, I just need rest. I'm frazzled to find I did one thing and forgot another. seemingly normal tasks overwhelm me as they pile up, waiting to be done.

I love you. I know you love me, so I'm coming boldly to the throne of grace. I openly admit my failure apart from you. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now, but here we are again. I'm ready to put the past behind me. I'm eager to show my love by service. Teach me your ways.

After writing this, I flipped back a page to something else I had written a few days before. I don't remember much about writing it, so I was shocked when I found this:

My Daughter, I have never doubted you for a second. I know what you are capable of. I created you didn't I? I love you with an unfailing love. I don't know how not to love you.

I know you are tired. Come rest with me. I know you are weak. Come rely on my strength.

My plan is great, but it is truly too much for you alone. Face it, you need me. Don't think for a second you can do this without me. I am God. I made the sun and stars. Humble yourself and you will lack no good thing. I will personally take care of you all the days of your life.

Indulgence is not worth the price of penance. Learn this well, for the world will contradict me. Instant gratification will make you lazy. Hard work will make you strong.

What a God We Have

To Make One Heart Full
He sent his son who died for me
and loved me enough to set me free.
My savior died a Calvary.
He was raised again;
the sacrifice that bore my sin.

My life in had he did take,
when he died for atonement’s sake.
Spirit from body death did pull;
If only to make one heart full.

That heart was mine,
so now I speak of love divine.
He would have died just for me,
but instead brought hope for all to see.

He washed away the muddy waters of sin
and made it purely fresh again.
From now on, there is no fear.
My God, my Savior, is always near.

I'm Dreaming...

I would like to introduce my latest writing venture. Charis and I have devoted an entire blog to the crazy things that happen in the hours of sleep.

This blog will attempt to capture the weirdest outbursts of imagination that take place when we close our eyes. We hope to chronicle many interesting and downright funny things.

Personally, I hope to learn more about sculpting an idea into an easily understood, yet quite interesting, story. I hope to stimulate creativity while also just following the random gait of dreams.

Without further ado, welcome to Slumberland. (click the word)

Check it out and tell me what you think!

Hello, It's Been a While Hasn't It?

Hello my dear, little blog. How are you? You probably think I'm mad at you, that I'm giving you the silent treatment. I'm so sorry I seem to be ignoring you.

Its not that I've been more than unusually busy. I don't really have an excuse for leaving you alone for so long.

Since I've abandoned you for such a vast expanse of time, I'll fill you in on a few of the most important happenings.

I got my braces off! My teeth feel funny, but at least now I can chew gum. I found out I get to wear my retainer (which is zebra striped by the way) 24/7 for the next six months. Yay.

It snowed yesterday. I've been telling my friend, who moved here a few years ago, that snow never accumulates here unless it February. So, of course, It snowed (and accumulated) on January 29th.

I didn't go outside to play in the snow today. I sat by the fire and read. Tomorrow though, after a breakfast of pancakes that used to be a Sunday morning tradition, I'm going outside. Even if I have to go out alone, I'm going.

Right now, my most adventurous plan is to find my way to my bedroom in the dark. Then I plan to fall onto my heavenly mattress and slumber heavily while dreaming interesting dreams.

Goodnight.

A Lesson From Eye Makeup

Sin is like that glue used in applying fake eyelashes. It's a tacky, gooey mess that inhibits vision. It never really works and it only looks good on other people. It surrounds your eye in a lie. As if anyone really has lashes that fabulously full.

The bitter distress caused by wrongdoing is like crying while wearing mascara. You're already upset, and it is made worse by the fact your face is puffy and red with black streaks running down it. You feel exposed, as if your mask is literally melting off your face. All that you hid behind; pride, jealousy, greed. All that abandons you and leaves you vulnerable.

That's what sin feels like to me. It blinds me as I go through life and causes me to make unwise decisions. It gives me something to hide behind and then fails completely. Sin is a gross, gory mess. It's a wolf in sheep's clothing. It tastes sweet, but causes stomach aches.

Have you ever felt like you were outside of the will of God? It's a terrible feeling. It surrounds you and takes over your thoughts. Until, Like only he can, God quietly calms the mass madness cavorting around in your head with one "Peace, be still."

In that instant, you realize more than ever how terrible sin is. You realize you never want any part of it ever again. You realize God really is the only thing worth living for. And finally, you realize God is waiting for you to be done realizing things so you can grasp his outstretched hand of mercy.

Out With the Old

It's a sad time for Christmas cheer. Everywhere I look, I see unwanted Christmas trees browning on the side of the road. With their sweet scent goes every scrap of holiday spirit.

Christmas linens and heirloom decorations are all smothered in stuffy boxes until their next opportunity to create a joyful mood.

With holiday meals always come post-holiday diets. Sugar withdrawal causes short tempers and headaches. This I've learned from personal experience.

As everyone receives those unaviodable after Christmas bills, customer service gets less and less hospitable.

Bodies ache from doomed New Years resolutions. Hours in the gym barely make up for hours of feasting. Without instant gratification, most quit by the third day.

What an odd way to start a new year.